when things get tough...

I have reached my half way point in this journey... except 200 days in Africa will actually become more like 300 by the time I depart... and this is when things get tough...

So at this climatic median I have a crucial decision to make... do I stay for the next 150 days, or do I pat myself on the back and say, “You did a good work” and go home?

Both ideas twist through my mind at night as I lay in my bed. It would be easy for me to go home because, I am a natural born (confession) quitter. When things get tough I want to bail... and (another confession) many times I do, so more recently I have been trying to change that terribly “human” flaw within me.

The terribly “human” flaw that tells me,

“It’s okay to quit... you gave it a fair try, you made an effort, it just wasn’t for you.”

More recently, when I get to that momentary fork in the road I don’t choose one direction or another, not immediately at least, I stop and I am still.

This moment happened for me yesterday while at school. Between two of my classes I walked into the supply closet, locked the door and cried out for God to give me strength... I sat on the floor and was absolutely STILL. I think He must have heard me because I made it through the day!

Then today I went online to read about the devastation in Haiti and I was literally sick in my soul. People who survived the disaster are now dying of dehydration, and suffocating under 10-20 feet or rubble because the entire country is in shambles. One news website estimated that the effects of this tragedy will impact the lives of over 3 million people. 3 MILLION PEOPLE... that is nearly a third of their population.

and this is when things get tough...

Today I watched a homeless man stumble down the street to beg for coins so he could eat.

Today I took the hand of a little boy who lives outside of my compound and he began to cry because his hand was cut and the wound was infected.

Today I hired a grown man to patrol my school campus who has never learned how to read or write.

Today I welcomed a new student into my fifth grade class because at her previous school she was flogged for forgetting her veil.

and this is when things get tough...

I am reminded of Paul and his amazing endurance “when things get tough”.

To the church in Corinth he writes;

...Well now is the right time to listen, the day to be helped. Don’t put it off; don’t frustrate God’s work by showing up late, throwing a question mark over everything we are doing. Our work as God’s servants gets validated- or not- in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly... in hard times, tough times, bad times, when we’re beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we’re telling the truth, and when God’s showing His power; when we’re doing our best settling things right; when we’re praised, and when we’re blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all.

when things get tough...

Currently, my thoughts turn to these words written by a man who, through the tough stuff decided to choose the road of perseverance.

You see, Paul was a wise, wise man who knew that the journey was not to reach a prize, but in fact the journey was the prize!

I am dead yet terrifically alive.

I am immersed in tears and possessing deep joy.

I am living on handouts yet enriching many.

I am having nothing, and having it all...

...and this is when things get tough, so I choose the journey not the prize!

Continue to pray for me and the lives I am blessed to encounter on this journey.